when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize