Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
