hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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