i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
