You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
