So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
