does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
