fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
