ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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