i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
