do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
