"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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