I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
