It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
