Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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