that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
