Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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