I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
