Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
