the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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