Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
