my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
