Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
