I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
