could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
