Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
