u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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