wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
