She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
