rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
