Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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