Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
