I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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