i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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