Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
