Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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