A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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