I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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