His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
