We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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