It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
