dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
