This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
