This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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