did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
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