But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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