i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
