im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
