I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Shame - the story of my life.
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