i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
