R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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