Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
