if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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