I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Terrible idea I love it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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