I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
