it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
