ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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