i'm signing you up for texting rehab
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize