Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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