I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
