so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
