and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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