Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.

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(616): View more from Michigan

at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n

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(850): View more from Florida

I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad

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(914): View more from New York

Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.

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(360): View more from Washington

Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.

(360): View more from Washington

It was me.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.

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(408): View more from California

You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night

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(727): View more from Florida

I made a powerpoint to trip to.

(561): View more from Florida

you are so studious.

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