I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think my moral compass just broke
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