My sheets look like a crime scene.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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