She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
